SIX INCH

Hello Lovers,

Henning can eat it. I updated my subway size. No, smartass, it wasn't a six-foot - it was a six INCH. I knew if we let Brian in the group, things would get ugly. Hey-O!

So there's that,

Laura

Woman of Contradictions

About her diet Meegs writes: "but this time I'm already bored...and I'm not happy."

Then, a short time later she writes: "I purposely chose a diet that is bacon-centric so I would be happy..."

Somebody is having sugary snack withdrawl problems...

Also, she writes: "I've noticed that my roomate's dog, Lois, who is usually anti-social has started snuggling with me all the time since I started this diet...She's always licking my face giving me doggie-kisses and following me around in the evenings when I'm home cooking."

OF COURSE SHE IS FOLLOWING MEEGS AROUND AND LICKING HER FACE, SHE IS COVERED IN BACON!!!

HENNING WILL WIN!!
HENNING WILL WIN!!

Dogs Love Me

Listen, I can't help it. I love bacon. (no our sponsor has not paid me to say this) I purposely chose a diet that is bacon-centric so I would be happy and less tempted to cheat. Brian needs to have a portion-controlled serving of "shut-the-hell-up."

Also, I've noticed that my roomate's dog, Lois, who is usually anti-social has started snuggling with me all the time since I started this diet. It must be the new-found confidence from my weight loss. Dogs can sense that kind of thing. She's always licking my face giving me doggie-kisses and following me around in the evenings when I'm home cooking. It feels nice to be appreciated for me.

HENNING WILL WIN!!

Ok, it's day three. So far, Meegs broke her low carb diet by eating chocolate and some sort of iced coffee drink from dunkin donuts (and who knows how many donuts) and Laura ate ice cream and a SIX FOOT SEAFOOD SUB!? How is that even possible? We havn't even heard from McGill, although he is only just chubby anyway.

How am I doing? GREAT. Eating delicious and healthy food (not a huge zip lock baggie full of bacon) and doing some cardio equals 5 lbs lost so far. GO HENNING! RA RA RA!

I'm going to win the $10,000!!!

A History of The Weight-Off

A couple of months ago I was asked to be an outside eye, or in other words, to direct The Second Helping's DC Sketchfest show. For those of you who don't know what The Second Helping is, it is a plus sized sketch comedy troupe who love themselves for who they are. I immediately accepted the invitation to direct, yet, within a couple of hours was horribly insulted when I realized that my weight was more of a factor in their decision to ask me for help than my brilliance. Regardless, I had said yes and I am a man of my word.

During out first meeting, I was shocked at the amount of food that they brought for a simple planning meeting. Chips, candy, a pineapple upside-down cake...they brought it all, and devoured every last crumb. I began to get concerned for their health and well being...along with my own, knowing that I would be working with them in some capacity for a while.

I choreographed a dance routine for their closing number. It wasn't incredibly complicated but at the end of it, the room temperature had risen 17 degrees and Jim, Meegs and Laura were dripping wet...I decided something had to be done.

I suggested we all do a highly publicized weight-off. I played it up as a way to promote the group, but really, it was my way of helping prevent inevitable heart attacks. At first, they thought it was a joke. Meegs actually said "it would be hilarious if we all actually GAINED weight." I stared blankly. Finally, they agreed and were excited about the prospect of losing weight as a group.

Just Hold On For One More Day

Hello Lovers,

Yesterday was nearly a tragedy for me: I almost fell prey to secret eating. I had a normal breakfast - 2 eggs scrambled with tomatoes and mozzarella, and Hoodia - but I went to the dentist for lunch and was immediately stressed by the experience. I won't go into detail, but I think I'll need major reconstruction.

This prompted me to get lunch, and the only thing healthy nearby was Subway - which was just across the herd of immigration activists lowing down Jackson Street. Having made my way through the crowd without being smeared with taco meat, I did some marching of my own - straight up to the counter where I ordered a healthy treat - a six-INCH wheat...seafood & crab.

I said it. My mouth hurt, and I wanted something soft and creamy, and I'm disgusting myself as I type this. I hope the spinach, onions, tomatoes, banana peppers, olives and vinegar would counteract the fat, but time will tell. Needless to say, I immediately chased the lunch with 5 water pills, 2 Hoodia, and a 50.7 oz bottle of Pure American water.

Pure American: The Water You Can Trust, Because It Has An Eagle & Mountains On The Label. -- source: http://www.pureamerican.com/

Then I walked back to the office, partly because the march was blocking northbound bus traffic. But on the way, I stopped for a single dip of vanilla ice cream at Potbelly.

My problem with indulging in treats is that I want to spend the rest of the day exploring the possibilities. I decided to walk the 6 miles home as opposed to taking the bus to the gym, and on the way I thought, "If I go to Thai Aroma for some cucumber salad and broccoli beef, I won't be doing too bad." I needed balance, and I took the high road, and cooked at home.

Menu:
2 Hoodia
1 Pickling Cucumber, halved and filled with She Gives Hummus (see yesterday's recipe)
Orange Roughy Sauteed in Olive Oil with Chicken Broth, Lemon, Halved Grape Tomatoes, Garlic, and tossed with Whole Wheat Linguine; Served Over Fresh Baby Spinach Leaves
1 serving Kozy Shack No Sugar Added Rice Pudding

Not bad, Meyer, not bad at all. At least not as bad as that Chris Richardson on American Idol - hey-o!

So There's That,

Laura

My Tummy Hurts

I did really well on the low-carb diet last time I tried it, but this time I'm already bored with my food options. Maybe it's because I'm procrastinating doing my homework, but I've been browsing in the kitchen for like an hour and I'm not happy. So I gave in and ate a bunch of low-carb chocolate. Now when I say "a bunch" I mean all 2.5 servings in the package. Have you ever eaten low-carb chocolate before? If so you will understand my pain.

Liar! Braggart!

Hello Lovers,

I just want to note that Brian isn't nearly as seasoned a dieter as I, and he shall not reign this competition!

Statistically, though, men can more easily lose weight than women. But I'll just call that codswallop.

There's that,

Laura

Brian will dominate!

I would just like to state for the record that I will, without a doubt, emerge victorious in the Second Helping Weight-Off.

I Give Hummus

Hello Lovers,

I came up with this recipe for hummus after I fell in love with fiber. The problem is, I hate the hummus they pass off in stores: it's too tangy and full of shelf-stabilizers. I also have a great disdain for tahini - a tangy sesame butter that's loaded with fat. My recipe is significantly lower in fat and higher in flavor.

I enjoy this with those small pickling cucumbers (less waxy), which I slice in half lengthwise remove the seeds and fill with this wonderful hummus. I also dip the standard red peppers, cherry tomatoes, whole wheat pita bread, and green onion blades.

SHE GIVES HUMMUS
1 can garbanzo beans, drained (reserve liquid) and rinsed
1 clove garlic, coarsely chopped1/3 c loosely packed flat-leaf parsley
2 tsp olive oil
1/4 tsp toasted sesame oil
1/2 lemon
salt and pepper to taste

Place garlic and garbanzos in a food processor and process until the mixture stops moving. Scrape down the sides to get the beans closer to the blades and pulse again. Scrape down the sides, and process full blast as you pour about a quarter cup of the reserved liquid steadily through the feed tube. Add just enough to make the mixture smooth, not runny.

*Note - the liquid looks pretty thick and gross, but don't worry, that's just salted water and starch from the beans. That liquid is a natural thickener, like pasta water.

When beans are smooth, give the motor a little break. Then turn on again and slowly pour in olive and sesame oils through the feed tube. When oils are incorporated, turn off, open the lid, then add salt, pepper, a squeeze of fresh lemon juice from 1/2 lemon (watch the seeds!), and the parsley. Process again until all is combined, and voila! The best hummer a girl ever gave you. I mean hummus.

Tips:

Make fake out deviled eggs by spooning this hummus into halved egg whites!
Add red pepper flake and hot sauce for a little spice!
Add horseradish for a greater zing!
You don't have to use parsley - it just makes it peppery and fresh!
Add finely chopped and seeded cucumber (after processing) for crunch! You can add finely chopped red onion, too!
Add basil for an Italian taste!
The possibilities are endless!

*Note: A guy told me this weekend that hummus was a Jewish terrorist organization. What a laugh - Jews don't organize!

That's all of me for now!

Laura