Today I want to talk about Ranch Dressing. It is one of the most versatile condiments known to man! You can put it on just about anything, and its LOW CARB! Whoot!
This morning I had a delicious breakfast of diced cucumber and hard-boiled eggs. Now that might not sound so exciting, but if you smother it with ranch dressing and chopped bacon, NOW you have a meal! It was so yummy, I
licked the bowl! They should make Ranch perfume! I'd totally wear it! I'd so popular with the fat guys. It would be like those Axe Body Spray commercials except it would be fat guys chasing after ME. That thought is kinda scary and kinda cool at the same time. Of course I would turn most of them down because after this diet I'm going to be so hot I can have any guy I want. I'm not the kind of girl that bases attraction entirely on looks. I like guys who are smart and funny. If he's financially stable that's helpful too. We'll have a nice little condo in Lincoln Park or Boystown or Roscoe Village or something. Oh and a dog! All thanks to the alluring scent and power of ranch dressing!I think I'm in a better mood because my sugar cravings have finally subsided. I've stopped offering to sell my body parts in exchange for dinner rolls and ice cream. For now.
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